| (no subject) |
[Jan. 3rd, 2007|10:15 pm] |
I probably won't throw this one in with the upcoming update because it's a bit In-Jokey, but please, copy and distrubute as much as you please.
Wizard Magazine says: "It gets attention and is popular and will no doubt bring more fans into comic shops, therefore we cannot question it's brilliance."
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| Strange Wool |
[Nov. 11th, 2006|02:26 am] |
First up, RIP Jack Palance. Why that news made me want to do this, I don't know.
But there's something I've been dying to get off my chest.
FUCK DR. STRANGE.
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| Even Monkeys Reign When There Is No Tiger |
[Oct. 29th, 2006|11:42 pm] |
hey kids, ESB update will be soon, I got one more "movie" poster to do (a sequel to Modus Operandi) and then all will be gravy. In the meantime, here's the other movie poster from this update. This one was digitally inked, which takes longer than regular ink, but is much more treatable for some of the color hold techniques. Here's the sketch complete with notes and weapon names which were taken off the final:
And the final:
the bar at the top is a reference to the panmedia releases of the shaw films. Chen Kuan Wei is a made up name, btw. ENJOY! |
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| They're not tricks, they're Illusions Michael |
[Oct. 10th, 2006|08:00 pm] |
Finally, a reason to have hope for the HK film industry again. Apparently, they make other films beside Ziyi Zhang films too *L*. SO, with out further ado...
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| 09-07-06 update |
[Sep. 7th, 2006|05:36 pm] |
ESB updated, 9 from the new "Colors" series (long time fans might remember a similar set with a giant name of the color as the background from a bit back), and 2 more f'd up comics to hurt your very soul.
Only one real nude this go round, probably going to be cutting back on that because I kinda get stuck in a rut and not improving other aspects of illustration aside from fleshtones. So yeah, this was 90% to do more with clothing textures (although not so much on the yellow one *L*).
enjoy! |
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| Coloring Tutorial |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|06:14 pm] |
I've been asked numerous times "How do you do your coloring?". To which I respond, "with a computer", because I'm a PRICK. But at long last, I'm going to share in full how I do it. First things first, these are all techniques for photoshop 7.0+, so PSP'ers might not get much use out of this. And this thread is OPEN to any and all questions from anyone who needs advice or something I might not cover. These are NOT hard and fast rules, as more n' likely I'll find other ways to stream line these processes in the future, but for now these are the 2k6 methods. And if you find something doesn't work for you, shit, do it your own way!
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| *sigh* |
[Aug. 24th, 2006|04:04 pm] |
ugh, my card attached to my tripod site expired, and after some finaggling I fixed it, but the easy url (electricsportsbra.com) isn't working for now. They have to re-proposition it or something. It's still attached to my site, but in the mean time,
http://electricsportsbra.tripod.com/
will get you there. Then again, most folks come through ESB to get to here, so I'm pretty much YELLING WITH MY MOUTH SHUT *L* |
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| ESB 08-18-06 Update |
[Aug. 18th, 2006|05:25 pm] |
Alrighty, here we go.
"Dead Rising" - kinda tired of doing pics that take me all of one hour to sketch and one hour to color, figured "eh fuck it, I ain't on no time frame", and did this tribute piece. It's part of an upcoming online portfolio.
"Gordon Liu" - you've seen this already, except this one has some text added, YIP-EE!!
"Batguns" - 2 people have already had their minds seriously injured by this, so I'm pleased to unleash it on the general populace.
"Truck Stop Beauty Queen 2k6" - again, wanted to put a bit more effort into the illustrative side, and this pic is the first to benefit from the techniques for lineart prep as featured in DC Comics Guide to Coloring. And it's a remake from a OLD pic.
"Devil Girl 360" - a wallpaper that you can transfer via a USB device (MP3 or otherwise) to your 360 free of charge. Unfortunately the bottom 1/8 doesn't show on my tv, but still, enjoy.
"080106" - had this sitting around for a bit, finished it up and no longer kept the Achromaticy.
"081606" - and another gal in the water! based off I think a pic of Pauline Rose.
enjoy! |
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| They call him "Baldy" |
[Aug. 13th, 2006|12:33 am] |
Huzzah! Now it's time for a starting five of...
"Master Killer" himself, Lar Kar Fei, AKA GORDON LIU.
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| ESB Update, and more kung fu |
[Jul. 22nd, 2006|06:43 pm] |
If you read the headline, you probably gathered there's an ESB update, so GO NOW. 4 new ones:
"Modus Operandi" - Yes, the theme from Our Man Flint is my cell phone ringtone, why do you ask?
"Love:Kontiki Style" - Part of a possible new ESB theme, each section to have it's own proprietary diety. Incidentally, Mustard Pussy is the god of crops and weather.
"I Am Not A Cookie Jar" - trying to do some of the more blatant "rock concert poster" BG's, and wanted to draw the fan-favorite (Ok, i'm lying) ES-Brat again.
"070106" - brunette, jeans...yeah, don't really have to delve too much into this one.
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| They call him "big nose" |
[Jul. 11th, 2006|08:21 pm] |
Yep, that's right, it's time to go into a good starting four with Jackie. But before I do, there's an argument I've had with a few people who don't quite "get" Jackie's films or his career. Some even look down on him because he's not a true martial artist like Jet Li. Heh. I'll try to be brief, but won't. This time the films are listed in bold in the subject.
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| Why is this man smiling? |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|06:39 pm] |
Because X-mas came early, the ESB update will be ON by 8 o clock EST.
Dig it. |
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| Starting 5 |
[Jun. 28th, 2006|11:58 pm] |
These are the films, with a giant "IMHO" attached, that are a good starting point for building a decent Kung-Fu library. They're not necessarily the best of the actor/director, but they all have components that get you used to alot of the conventions used in other movies. I'm not including any Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan movies because I figure most folks have seen a few of those already. And Jackie gets his own entry coming up here soon. So, with out further ado...
MASTER OF THE FLYING GUILLOTINE- If your perception of Kung Fu movies is "Black Belt Theatre", this is probably a good starting point. It's not the best produced, or the most polished thing you'll ever see, but it has one thing going for it, VARIETY. Muay Thai ceremonial dance, Qing vs Manchu, Japanese vs. Chinese, Snake Style, Monkey Boxing, Wing Chun, One Armed Boxing, Stretchy Arm Hindus, Sadistic Deathtraps, cheese-tastic gore, a sweet, sweet theme for the title character (which is RARE), the SEXIEST version of the Flying Guillotine you will EVER, EVER see, bizarre/illogical/supernatural kung-fu applications and one genre specific convention, the blue-tinted flashback. To be fair, the first 1/2 hour or so is a bit slow, but once the tournament hits, it's bonzo gonzo.
THE FIVE DEADLY VENOMS - Honestly, I think the only reason I suggest this film is so you call the actors by their "Venom" name everytime you see them. Makes John Woo's "Hard Boiled" even better when you realize that's "Lizard" lighting his cigarette off a flaming car. Anyways, this film also is a good introduction to director Cheng Cheh's "Macho" era of film making. Prior to this, he made a lot of the "Costume Dramas" with Ti Lung and David Chiang, which were very shakespearean and dealt with chinese history. With 5DV, he's 1/2 between that phase and creating (with the choreography of Lar Kar Leung) the new era of Kung Fu films. It's evolution on film, and excellent fight scenes abound. Except when they involve Pai Wei (snake). Sorry, cheap shot.
THE 36TH CHAMBER OF SHAOLIN - Blockbuster doesn't even begin to describe this. Lar Kar Leung's directorial debut stars Gordon Liu (pai mei in kill bill 2) as a rebel who seeks to learn from the shaolin to end Manchu oppression. What follows is what became textbook, the long ardous and often clever training sequences that build the character into a virtual god (and real life folk hero). It does start out slow, but you'll come to learn that Lar Kar Leung's films have a escalation effect, each fight gets longer and better as it goes along. Plus, you'll understand what the hell the 3 section staff does *L*
FIST OF LEGEND - Jet Li and director Yuen Wo Ping's remake of (us title) The Chinese Connection is a modern introduction to the "Bloody Knuckles" genre. Japanese vs. Chinese. However, it does a better job of seperating the peoples from their governments than bruce's epic. It was made more recently, so it's a bit more approachable than some of the Shaw movies for newbs, but the message and spirit harkens back to the classics, and Jet Li gets to do all the things that he doesn't get to do in hollywood. The same goes for Yuen Wo Ping.
THE PRODIGAL SON - What's often considered the finest Kung-Fu movie ever made, is also, IMO, the "Angel Dust album" of movies. It's good on your first go through, but you might not get it, or realize what you just saw. Sammo Hung directed himself, starred Yuen Biao, and Lam Ching Ying in this operatic epic, that is equal parts comedy, drama, redemption, saving face, vengence, regret and a love letter to the martial art form of Wing Chun. After I see about 10 KF flicks or so, I routinely watch this one again, and it gets BETTER every single time. Not to sound like an absolutist, but this film MUST be in your library if you want to have a collection that's for something other than kitsch or ironic value.
With the exception of 36th chamber, most of these are fairly availble at Best Buy, and shouldn't run you more than $10, so enjoy. Again, these are STARTER films, and in the next post, I'll explain some of the things I'm "stealthing" in by choosing these. |
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| Lesson 1 - Monkey Drinks Master's Wine |
[Jun. 17th, 2006|08:57 pm] |
Ok, so you're thinking about buying a Kung-Fu DVD collection, one that would make Bruce Lee proud. And you figure, "Heck, I'll just go to Best Buy and buy anything that looks good, as long as one of the guys I know is on the cover I'm bound to be called Sifu in no time."
Good luck with that, because you're going to get burned, and worse yet, disappointed and discouraged from purchasing KF flicks. All because some scumbag distributor bought a VHS copy of a movie and burned it to DVD. So it's back to the relative safety of Jean Claude Van Damme and Stephen Seagal flicks. It doesn't have to be this way if you know how.
First Lesson - Labels
If there's one cliche I hate, is "You can't judge a book by it's cover". Well, as Glenn Beck said, "THAT'S WHY BOOKS HAVE COVERS!". In the case of KF movies, you'll quickly find out certain films are not what they say they are, and the fact that having "Shaw" in the title does not necessarily mean a true Shaw Brothers' film. So, here's the most notorious offenders, and a bit of explanation as to why you should avoid their titles like the words "Produced By Jimmy Wang Yu".
Wu-Tang Clan Presents - First of all, let me say this is not a knock on the Wu-Tang Clan's selections, or the films themselves. What it simply comes down to is this - Ground Zero Entertainment (who I'll cover in a minute), who's the "parent" of this particular label, had the rights to a number of Shaw gems, but sadly gave the Wu-Tang Clan the left overs from their catalogue. The RZA has said this in numerous interviews, so it's unfortunate that the Wu name was not attached to the films that, with that extra bit of promotion, would have made a serious difference in market exposure. Add to this the totally random picture and sound quality (forget anything being restored or remastered), they're to be avoided, unless you find there's one particular film that exists in no other format. (which is sadly the case)
Ground Zero Entertainment - These are VERY rare at retail level, but you can always tell them by the distinctive "fish-eye" red font they used for their titles. For the longest time, these were the only way to get Shaw Classics, albeit with random picture and sound quality, and no way of telling if you were getting widescreen or full screen. For awhile, these were OK, but with Panmedia's (more on them in a bit) digitally restored and remastered shaw films, essentially transfers of the IVL reissues, there's absolutely no reason to buy these inferior copies.
VideoAsia- Oh god, where to begin, first of all, crosses your fingers if VideoAsia products play on your DVD player. I've got a region free one, and even then it has problems. VideoAsia is the one-eyed prostitute of KF productions, yeah, you're getting laid, but you can't stop thinking about Pirates. Most of their films have a "insta-action" feature, which allows you to just watch the fight scenes. Which is fine, except in some cases that's the ONLY WAY the film plays whatsoever. Add to this, the catalogue is largely films the big stars made outside of Hong Kong (which are very hit or miss), so skip it. Oh, and this particular link I have? WORST FUCKING FILM EVER. So those are the 3 main offenders, let's get on to the good ones.
Fortune Star/20th Century Fox - Sammo Hung and Jackie Chan are the ones who brought back the concept of film restoration from Hollywood to Hong Kong, and are to credit for alot of the Shaw films being restored. Luckily, a good chunk of their Golden Harvest films (the Shaw's main rival studio) were redistributed by 20th Century Fox here in America, and are fairly easy to find. The picture quality is 5 star, and the sound is good (as good as HK films from the era can be), and most if not all have original language tracks and multiple selections for subtitle language. However, the catalogue has not grown since April of 2005, so HOPEFULLY they'll expand later this year.
Dimension Films- Dimension likes 2 things, Jet LI and Jackie Chan. But, luckily, the picture quality is great, the audio is hit or miss (largely due in some cases the english dub team being what some would called "snockered"). The chance of finding these are fairly good actually, so content aside *cough Twin Dragons*, you should make out pretty fair.
Panmedia - This one's a bit tricky, and there's a method to buying them. Panmedia is a USA based distributor who buys the rights from, I beleive a Thai company, to distribute a good portion of the Shaw brothers films. Now, in the last year and half, they've being selling the Celestial/IVL Shaw films (Digitally Restored and Remastered, DRR from here on out), and it's been heaven. HOWEVER, when buying from panmedia, patience pays. Notice on the example link, how it says "DRR"? That's fine and dandy, but you might see one that says "Special Widescreen Edition" or "Limited Uncut Version". Essentially these latter two are the old not-so good versions that they're trying to move out of the warehouse before they sell the DRR versions. The exception to this is the non-HK produced films which are probably not going to get a DRR version (Fist and Guts, for example). Also, the "Version" is important, because they have a knack for having a glitch in their disc that makes the film skip for around a minute, they usually iron it out by version 3. So, make sure you click on HKFLIX's "Newest DVDs listed first". I'll share what films I personally know have that problem in a future post.
That's enough for now, next I plan to do a "Starter Pack" of films, which should raise a few brows. fdx. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2006|11:28 pm] |
Back online! But, surely, I must have an update up my sleeve as well right?
Actually, I do, but I ain't gonna post it yet.
Why? Because...
18 PICS ON JULY 1ST, See ya then!
Oh, and the LJ's title change does have meaning. From here on out, aside from ESB update notices, "I have nothing but Kung-Fu." |
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| ESB UPDATE! |
[Apr. 8th, 2006|10:41 pm] |
What's it been, like 5 months? go there NOW.
On a unrelated note, the next time someone tries the "Well, they're only doing jobs american's DON'T want." argument on you, just remind them "They said the same thing about pickin' cotton."
FUN! |
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| the world's first heterosexual meme |
[Mar. 28th, 2006|12:33 am] |
OK kid's, here's the ground rules for:
THE END OF THE WORLD MONTAGE MEME
We've all seen in ANY post-apocalyptic themed movie, the mandatory "End of the World" montage. Usually footage will roll, chronologically detailing how everything went wrong, and it all ends with a nuke going off. We're going to say, for the purposes of this meme, that the year starting it is 1994.
Music for this segment: "Tijuana Taxi" Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass Band.
Opening shot - Footage of Kurt Loder talking about that guy...what's his name...the millionaire rockstar who took his life instead of raising his child...ah, I can't recall, on an MTV news break. Then footage of Bill Clinton walking along the beaches of Normandy on the anniversary of D-Day. What happened in our world was a FUCKING BLATANT p.r. stunt, but in this universe, Clintion uses rocks to make a silhouette of a crudely drawn penis. He takes off his pants and mounts his creation, and drunkenly murmurs the lyrics to "Summer Lovin'".
Now FLY MY MONKEYS! You're allowed one clip per post, no double posting, and as the start of this thing, I have the "Nuclear Option", so I call it quitsy when it's time. GO!
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| come lick the butts of the beef patrol |
[Mar. 18th, 2006|11:54 pm] |
I...LIVE.
It's been a hellacious while here at the Fed-eral building, and I'm going to share the drama. Take yo' momma to see it before someone else does...
apparently I contracted a "boot loop" bug. Essentially, when you log into windows XP's welcome screen, it goes in for a split second then logs right back out. After trying every single fucking free option/fix I could find online for 3 weeks, I tried the Geek Squad at Best Buy, who would have set me back $170 bones. But having grown up a great fan of the bumbling husbands on sitcoms who try to fix the plumbing on their own but fail, I set out to recover my data (3 years of art).
First up, a external drive for future use. $100.
A new western digital 80gb internal drive. $80.
After some advice from my cousin who used to be a network specialist, I installed my new hard drive and set the old one up as a slave. And it sang colorful religious songs. Sorry *L*, I just felt weird calling one hard drive Master and one Slave. Installed XP on the new one and then transferred all the shit to the new external, virus checking the hell out of it along the way. But here's the fun part. I've got a Gateway computer, and the "reinstall Xp" disc didn't have all the necessary drivers. Mainly the sound card and ethernet port. Further, those 2 devices are in the same 2x2x1" little silver box together.
New Ethernet Card. $18.
New Sound Card. $30.
After all was said and done, I spent well over the geek squad price, BUT when I was transferring off the old drive, fucker was running hot. So it was on it's last legs, and I would have had to add a new HD to the Geek's price anyways. Maybe it wasn't a virus or spy ware, but just in case it was, I have a special message to the folks who make those kinda things:
I hope you get AIDS. In your mouth. |
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| Kill and Kill Again - THE MUSICAL |
[Feb. 5th, 2006|02:19 pm] |
I'm about 1/2 thru my most recent batch of movies from HKFlix.com, and
I bored, so I'm gonna review 'em. For those of you who aren't
genre fans, I'm going to give you an equivalent review in terms of a
Jackie Chan stunt. Here we go:
THE MASTER (AKA Three Evil Masters)
Chen Kuan-tai (the original Iron Monkey) "stars" in this so-so
flick. The plot is your basic "screw-up no talent student meets
someone who believes in him, then he becomes a kung-fu master", with
Chen as the master. This is also loosely the plot to EVERY
american sports movie ever. Really, it's been done better in so
many other films of the genre (notably at golden harvest), but the
Shaw's wanted a piece of the action too. But anyways, Yuen
Tak is the student in question, and is a very skilled performer,
but I'm going to go out on a limb and say his performance is
ruined by his Peggy Fleming style hair cut. I'M NOT
JOKING. Seriously, he looks like a creepy bowl cut Michael
Jackson. The 3 evil masters in question are led by Wong Lung Wei,
a veteran of numerous Chang Cheh and Liu Chia Liang films, and as
always, he gives the film a amazing 10 minute end fight sequence that
erases the mediocrity of the previous hour and 15 minutes.
Verdict: Jackie Chan sits in a room and eats a bowl of soup. WITH HIS MIND.
INSTRUCTORS OF DEATH (AKA The Martial Club)
Liu Chia Liang introduces into the film via a
demonstration/explanation of the Lion Dance, an ancient tradition, and
a hallmark signature of many Wong Fei Hung films. It's almost a
Hitchcock kind of feel, the director introducing you to the aspects of
the film. Gordon Liu stars as Wong Fei Hung again after the two
brothers had made "Challenge of the Masters", and honestly Liu Chia
Liang makes a pretty good WFH film. It also is a prime example of Liu
Chia Liang's underlying plot of all of his movies to promote martial
arts in a positive manner, as evidenced by Gordon's rival using martial
arts to impress girls, which leads to his down fall. Wong Lung
Wei is for once not cast as a straight up villain, but more of a
neutral force, and the fight sequence between Gordon and Lung Wei in an
increasingly narrowing alley is one of the best sequences the two have
had together on screen. The film though has a lot of dry patches,
but on the other hand, there's alot of opportunity for Kara Hui to show
her talents. Angelo Mao (Enter the Dragon) is called the "Queen
of Kung-Fu", but really, every time I see Kara Hui in action I disagree
wholeheartedly.
Verdict: Jackie Chan uses a Playstation 2 controller as a grappling hook and rapels down the Sears Tower. Yes.
DANCE OF THE DRUNK MANTIS (AKA Drunken Master 2)
The "Official" sequel to the original Druken Master once again
has Yuen Wo Ping directing his father, Simon Yuen, teaching yet another
hapless student the drunken fist...sort of. This time, it's his
unwanted adopted kid, Foggy (Yuen Shun-Yi), all the while being chased
by Rubber Legs, played by Hwang Jang Lee (drunken master, secret
rivals, snake in the eagle's shadow). Rubber Legs practices the
northern version of Drunken Fist, combined with Mantis boxing, which
makes for a very interesting visual. Unfortunately, he doesn't
get to show much of his leg work, which is odd considering he's widely
regarded as the best kicker to ever appear on screen, but he's still
one of the best screen villains HK has ever had. Most of the
actors (except Hwang) appeared in "The Buddhist Fist", Yuen Wo Ping's
first film, and this almost has the same vibe but is far
superior. Simon Yuen was getting up in years at this point, and
in most sequences he's replaced by a double, but Yuen Wo Ping did a
MUCH better job making it less obvious. And the bonus of a very
young Yen Shi-Kwan ("Iron Robe" in Once Upon a Time In China) packs
this movie out.
Verdict: Jackie helps Michelle Yao deliver a baby while falling out of a airplane. AND THE 'CHUTE WON'T OPEN!
TREASURE HUNTERS (AKA: Master Of Disaster)
Alot has been said about how Alexander Fu Sheng was going to be the
next big breakout star from the Shaw studios, even getting to a Jackie
Chan level, but i've never seen it. He was lackluster in "10
Tigers from Kwangtung", and overbearing in "8 Diagram Pole
Fighter". But this film shut me the fuck up. The film is a
great example too of why Liu Chia Liang is the godfather and creator of
"Comedy-Fu", the flow and timing is not as crisp as Sammo's work, but
there is almost a universal quality to the comedy. And Cantonese
comedy can be VERY, VERY grating often. But there's very little
oddity to this film's comedy, even for us gwailo's. The plot is 3
different groups trying to find this legendary treasure, one Alexander
Fu Sheng and Cheng Cheng Peh, the other Gordon Liu and a group of
buddhist monks, and the villains played by (suprise) Wong Lung Wei and
a girl who's name escapes me. She was in Fist of White Lotus and
demonstrated some swordplay, but in this she is MEGA-impressive with
the sword. Director Liu Chia Liang's formula of escalation works
excellently here, the first few fights are light, but builds up until
the finale which goes on forever but you never want it to stop.
Verdict: Jackie Chan
rolls in broken glass, sets himself on fire and gets pelted with
porcupines while skateboarding down the grand canyon into a bowl of
instant oatmeal.
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